{model} · city girl

all about moi

so since I got some new friends and it's the new year, and let's be honest - it's been forever and a day since I posted an actual entry let alone updated any "about me" type of information - I thought it would probably be a good idea to do a basic intro to who I am and what my life is about now. cause chances are, even if you've been my friend for a while you barely know what's going on with me. actually, about 75% of my friends in real life know anything about what's been going on with me. I've been so busy and so much has been going on, but I need to start making time for myself and my friends just for my own peace of mind. this journal is high up on my priority list now because I genuinely like writing, it makes me feel better and I like having detailed memories to look back on.

anyway, with all that said - let me introduce myself :)

my name's Josie, I'm 22 and I'm currently in my last semester (hopefully!) of college. I grew up in Long Island, NY then went away to Cali for college for 2 years before transferring back to NY. (I also studied abroad in Dublin for a semester, that's why my credits are all over the place and it's taking me a little longer than expected to finish)

now I live in the city with my cousin Nikki and in addition to going to school full-time, I also intern at a PR company. which I actually do love but I cut back a bit this upcoming semester. I'm only working 2 days and have classes 3 days but 2 of those days interlap (they're night classes) so I'll have 4 day weekends every week :) (I'm off Mondays and Fridays) definitelyyyy gonna make the most of that. I was running on pretty much no sleep and no social life this past semester, haha.

my family is pretty modern-ish I guess? my parents have been split up a long long time. my dad lives with his knocked up girlfriend in LA, my younger brother Derek has lived with them for a couple of years now. my mom recently moved to Montreal with her new husband. hopefully she won't get knocked up...haha, kidding. I also have 2 older siblings who are here in NY. my sister Tasha moved into our old house in Long Island with her husband and her 2 kids and my brother Keegan lives with them for now in the basement apartment. I get along well with my brothers and sister but we don't see each other a lot. my relationship with my mother has improved 100000x since she moved out of the country, haha. I miss her to death but it's for the best. she's way too opinionated and controlling but I have to admit she has calmed down A LOT since meeting Jack (her husband). and I'll admit, I'm a Daddy's girl :) I haven't seen him in a while though. his girlfriend and I...clash.

I have a boyfriend. it's pretty new still. I met him in October so we're going on 3 months now. his name's Reda, he's 27 and came to the states from Lebanon a few years ago, he's currently working on getting his PhD in engineering at Columbia. he's pretty impressive, I like him :) I did go through kind of a big breakup over the summer so I'm a little scared still, but I'm trying.

oh, I started this little 2010 survey thing that I wanted to tack on to the end of this post, but it's in a draft e-mail
which I can't currently get to right now cuz gmail is being a little bee-yotch. but I can just add that whenever I get to it.

so yea, that's me :) if you have any questions, just ask. if you want to add me, please don't be shy!
{model} · city girl

this isn't another girl meets boy


omgosh how am I still sick?? I stayed in Friday night, I stayed in allll day yesterday. I was so antsy I couldn't take it anymore and went to the movies last night - just a couple of blocks away, all bundled up - and I think I made it worse :\ oh well, Hereafter was worth it - awesome movie, Clint Eastwood can do no wrong. I really wanted to get to the gym today but I don't know.

anyways, in my last entry I mentioned I had been on a couple dates recently so I thought I would write about those dudes, just cause I'm bored out of my mind.

so I think the last one I wrote about was Brent - Mr. Wall Street. we went out one more time after that, for brunch and I really liked that he asked me out on day dates. he was a nice guy, perfect gentleman, but I just wasn't feeling it. and even though he was younger than my ex-boyfriend, I felt like he was too mature for me. he was very career-oriented and a bit serious. we definitely weren't on the same level.  that was at the end of August.

then the first or second week of September I met Mauricio (or Don Juan as my friends like to call him now, lol) really hot Colombian guy - tall, tan, beautiful brown eyes, accent and all so right up my alley. but it became obvious pretty fast that he's a little playboy, and he has absolutely no game! haha. he's not rude or anything like that, he's just super corny and he thinks he can get away with anything because of his looks. it's pretty hysterical actually. I can't take him seriously at all. the first date all he was trying to do was liquor me up and get me back to his place. we've actually become kind of good friends though, because how we initially met was at this bar that my friends and I started going to a lot. it's currently our favorite bar, we go there at least every other week, and Mauricio's always there too. he lives, like, 2 blocks away or something, he's pretty much a regular. so a week after our date I ran into him there again, but it was cool, we actually get along very well...and he's fun to make out with when I'm tipsy :P he still sometimes tries to beg me over but I always find an excuse, haha.

oh this was so funny! so maybe 3 weeks ago my friends and I went to the bar, we showed up pretty late cause we were at another place first, and I saw him getting into a cab with some chick, like making out and everything. clearly they were going to her place or something since he lives so close by and wouldn't need to drive. so I don't know why, but I just felt like playing with him a little bit. I think he needs to be kept on his toes every once in a while, haha. so I text him like, "holaaaa what's up?" I honestly wasn't even sure if he was going to respond, but not even 5 mins later he wrote me back, "hey how are you beautiful?" so this was our little exchange:

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my friends and I were getting such a kick out of this. I definitely hadn't expected to hear from him again though, but two hours later (which was around 3am at this point, Nikki and I were already home getting ready for bed) my phone went off! again...and again...and again. he called, text, left voicemails. Nikki and I were dying! but seriously, he didn't stop till almost 6 in the morning. I had to put my phone on silent so I could get some sleep. I text him the next day that I had been really drunk and passed out, and he tried to get me to come over that night to watch a movie but I just told him I had plans. I think he got kind of pissed cause I didn't hear from him for a few days, then I tried to text him about something stupid but got no response. that weekend I saw him at the bar and he didn't come over to say anything even though all his friends did, so I was just like ok whatever let him be a baby. he was going around trying to talk to ALL the girls. literally, I don't think he left one out. but then I ran into him by the bathroom which is this tiny little hallway, nowhere to hide, and I was pretty gone at this point so I didn't even care, I was just like, "ewww you're being so mean tonight!" blah blah blah. I don't even remember what all was exactly said, but not even 10 mins later he found me, asked me to come outside to keep him company while he smoked and we ended up making out on the stoop of the house next door for the rest of the night :P

damn Mauricio took up a lot of time, haha. I have to go give myself a mani/pedi and catch up on last week's Dexter before tonight so I'll leave Billy for next time.
  • Current Music
    Katy Perry - Peacock
{model} · city girl

I live!

but barely.

I honestly don't know how I made it through work today. I'm sure I was thoroughly skeeving everyone out with my hacking and nose-blowing. should have known Patron, hookah and 4 hours of sleep wouldn't be good for my cold :P definitely staying in to recuperate tonight. all I want right now is a hot bath (stopped by Lush on the way home to pick up a Twilight bath bomb), a face mask, some green tea w/honey & lemon and an episode or two of Friday Night Lights!

today is my bffl Tracey's bday and she went away for the weekend so we had to make it work. we went to a hookah lounge in alphabet city and pretty much shut the place down. I'm surprised so many people turned out on a Thursday; lately my friends have been acting like 50-year-olds and were complaining about the rain all day yesterday but they actually pulled through. (and yes I'm aware that my plans for tonight make me sound like a 50-year-old too but this is not the norm for me) even my brother came, and he was nice enough to give the Long Island peeps a ride so that's probably why. gd I wish him and Tracey would get together, that would make my life! my friend Omar from school came out with his girlfriend, and apparently he has a compulsive shot-buying problem, lol. he spent over $200 on drinks for everyone and then insisted on driving me and my cousin home. we don't live that far away and the rain had stopped by then! he's a good guy.

school has been kicking my ass - I have two huge midterm papers due next week. but let's think about happier things :)

I've been on a few dates over the past couple of months, but still happily single :) I think this is the longest I've been single for years, and so far still feels good. the occasional date and flirty texting is fun, but I honestly have no desire to take it past that "honeymoon" phase with anyone. guess that means I just haven't met the right guy yet. I actually do have a huge crush on someone - but of course it's complicated. it's my old co-worker Adam, who incidentally had a thing for me when we were working together but...we were working together. and I had a boyfriend at the time anyway.

then a few weeks ago out of nowhere I had this grand epiphany that I liked him too, so I invited him out with us one night. he came, we flirted, all my friends were like "omg he's soooo into you, it's so cute, he's definitely gonna try to make a move on you tonight!" until he got a phone call and announced his girlfriend was going to stop by. I actually had to excuse myself to go to the bathroom where I could laugh my ass off in private. so I was like, whatever! she came, she's a sweet girl, it was a fun night and I was just going to leave it at that. but ever since then he's wanted to hang out almost every weekend. last week he text me asking if I wanted to meet up for happy hour. I thought he meant meet up with him AND Laura so I invited my friend Steven, but it was just Adam and when Steven went to the bathroom he asked me if I thought it was messed up that he hadn't told Laura about the hangout. he said he likes to be able to "focus on his friends" and feels like she distracts him or secludes him when she's around or whatever. I was just like, "I think it's totally normal to want to hang out with your friends on your own, but you shouldn't be scared to tell her that. it's worse if you lie about it and she finds out later on." and anytime after we hang out, the next day or sometimes even an hour or two later he'll text me to tell me what a "blast he had with me" and how funny I am or whatever. so I don't know what all is going on there, but I definitely try to respect the boundaries, don't flirt with him, never get touchy-feely, don't really initiate the hanging out...but he is a really cool guy and I do enjoy the friendship.

and Vadym has been texting me off the hook lately, trying to meet up and then cursing me out and calling me a heartless bitch when I refuse. how lovely, lol.

anyway, enough about silly boys. it's bath time!
  • Current Music
    The Script - If You Ever Come Back
{model} · city girl

wisdom book

I was really struck by this quote from the book I'm currently reading, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz:

"Whatever life takes away from you, let it go. When you surrender and let go of the past, you allow yourself to be fully alive in the moment. Letting go of the past means you can enjoy the dream that is happening right now.

If you live in a past dream, you don't enjoy what is happening right now because you will always wish it to be different than it is."

kind of in keeping with my last entry.
{model} · city girl

I know it's not healthy to sit & fantasize....

this weekend was so much better than I ever thought it could be. first of all, some of my coworkers took me for a birthday lunch on Friday. that guy that I had a weird kind of ~vibe~ with - Adam - invited me out for a one-on-one lunch (he just found out I was single now the day before) but I already had plans w/the receptionist and some other people. thankfully. lol, sorry but I am not about to start that, it's been awkward enough. he did bring me back a piece of chocolate cake, which I thought was so sweet. I ate it with him in the break room. (bonus: my 2 bosses were out on vacation, wooh slacking time! haha)

then seeing Vadym that night was so nice! I was really nervous beforehand, but I was like, ok it's just gonna be an hour for coffee then I'm meeting up with everyone else. but by the end they were all texting me and I was like, noooo I don't wanna leave yet. he saw how my phone was going off every 2 mins and asked if I had anywhere else to be, and before I could even think about it I said, "nope!" and we ended up going to this hookah lounge until 2 AM. we had, like, 5 rounds of drinks and hookah and he paid for everything. I had to yell at him to let me pay for the pizza and water at the end of the night. then he insisted on walking me right to my door. he was the perfect gentleman too, didn't try to make a move on me all night. he did keep on grabbing my hand or putting his hand my leg while talking, and telling me how good I looked, but if you know Vadym you know that's wayyy tame for him, lol. I could tell he was consciously trying to be on his best behavior. which I was a little bit disappointed about? dlgjsldjgdg that accent still gets to me. but it's probably for the best. we were texting each other all day Saturday - he was saying how grateful he is that I accepted his apology and we were back on friendly terms, and that nothing would make him happier than to keep in touch and hang out. I honestly don't see why not, so we'll see how that goes.

Saturday was my actual "birthday party" and I was so happy because my nude Ideeli dress came just in time :) we went to a really good rooftop bar and the dj was killing it, I loved the music! I haven't danced that hard in a really long time, it felt so good. and I got tipsy, but not like crazy sloppy drunk, which I liked. I hate when my friends have to take care of me and I can't even stand up straight. but yea, it was great mellow, hysterical night. I <3 my friends, and not just because they got me a bunch of Sephora/Zara/Urban Outfitters gift cards ;)

Sunday I went to use some of those gift cards, hehe. I got some stuff that I've been meaning to try for a loooong time: the MUFE concealer palette & a Nars cream blush in Penny Lane. I also hit up some of my fave cheapy Soho boutiques. lately I love shopping by myself, it's honestly so therapeutic. this could be dangerous, haha. but can someone please tell me why all my inward conversations revolved around Vadym and how I can't wait to see him again? UHOHHHH. he wanted to grab dinner tonight, but I though it would be too much too soon. I am gonna go w/him on Friday to his friend's art exhibit. really excited about that.
  • Current Music
    lcd soundsystem - yr city's a sucker
{model} · city girl

bday funness

I kind of forgot about my birthday until LJ reminded me, haha. I mean, I knew it was coming. my friends had been asking me what I want to do, but I didn't realize how soon it was. July just FLEW by, wow. working the Big Girl 9-5 is really sucking up my summer, but considering I have a job and I'm not even done with school yet, I guess I should stfu and be grateful, haha. I honestly do like my job, I just wish there were more hours in the day ya know?

anyway, so last night my friends said they wanted to take me out to dinner but then they also surprised me with tickets to go see Chromeo. score! they're really awesome, if you've never heard of them before you should definitely check them out. I had so much fun but I'm exhausted today cause of course we stayed out goofing off till almost 2. but I'm only the bday princess once a year - gotta take advantage, right :) the only downside to the whole day was the floodgate of exes that always pop out of the woodwork, finally being sweet for once and totally fucking with your mind, lol.

for some reason my ex before this last one really got to me - the hot Russian art student, Vadym. he's probably the one who screwed me over the worst and it was definitely the most dramatic, volatile relationship I've ever been in. to be honest I'm SHOCKED that he even remembered. but maybe he just remembered how he pretty much single-handedly ruined mine last year, lol. anyway, he said some really nice things to me as an apology yesterday - nicer than he ever said at the end of our relationship - and I agreed to let him take me out for a birthday coffee tonight. I made plans with friends for afterwards so I'm not tempted to spend too much time with him, or even worse go back to his place :X I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm actually really excited to see him.
{model} · city girl

heatwave 2010

I pretty much did nothing this weekend but lounge around the pool sipping fruit smoothies. I've started making them with almond milk instead of oj, and o-m-g: UH-MAZING!  it was so nice to spend time with my brother, and my childhood bffs Tracey & Kevin all together. Tracey & I have always stayed close, but Kevin and I seriously drifted after high school. good thing he still lives right across the street from my mom's house so I can text him stuff like, "I know you're home, I can see your car, come to my pool!" haha, yea I'm a creeper like that. last night we went for frozen cappuccinos and crepes, then came back to my house and hung out on the deck talking for hours till the sun almost came up. I really needed that, I haven't laughed that hard in a while. oh memories. and I also really needed to get away from the city and my roommate, who's also my cousin and one of my best friends - things have been really tense between us :\

so Nikki's been really insecure lately, I have no idea why because she's the cutest thing ever. you know who a lot of people say she reminds them of? that chick on General Hospital, with the brown wavy hair and blue eyes. gah what's her name. hold on. Elizabeth! yea, her. so my cousin has lighter hair and brown eyes, but the shape of the face and the smile is really similar. she's so pretty! (both the actress and my cousin) anyway, so a few days ago she told me how her bf admitted to having some kind of dirty dream about me - yea AWKWARD, I don't really understand why he had to share that with her - and now every time we're all together she gets so upset and para
noid that he's checking me out or flirting with me or whatever. and just this Friday before I left for the weekend she broke down crying to me how she feels like "a troll" compared to me and all this stuff about how she hates the way she looks. WTF?! I was shocked, didn't know what to say. I was just like, "what can I do to help you? what do you need me to do?" and she said, "I don't think there is anything you can do. I don't know how I can get past this." GREAT. I hoped giving her some space would make things better, but I text her today before heading back - I kind of wanted to gauge the situation because I was actually really nervous to see her - so I asked her how her weekend was and what did she do, and all she responded back was, "it was fine." that is not normal for us. I was actually relieved that she wasn't here when I got home. I'm kind of worried and want to call her, but I just have this feeling she's gonna flip on me if I push it. I'm sure she's just at her boyfriend's. maybe they'll start spending the night there from now on. this is such a mess, it really sucks.
  • Current Music
    a fine frenzy - swan song
{model} · city girl

shopper's high

omg, Ideeli, stop having such pretty dresses!


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don't even get me started on the tops and jewelry :\

at least these mid-day online shopping sprees really motivate me to keep working :-D